Tag Archives: Insomnia

Insomnia thoughts

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What to talk about? … for some reason, I never really know what to write on my blog. I open the app to write a post but most the time I just stare at the bright screen not sure of the words that I should put. Knowing that everything I write and publish in here is read not only by family and friends but strangers too.
What if I offend someone? Or if something I say is understood wrong? Or my Faith gets questioned because I don’t explain something right? Or worse, I say something wrong and gives people the wrong idea not just of me and my family but of God as well? Am I sharing too much of my life? Should I pretend everything seems to be rainbows in my life just so it doesn’t seem like I’m complaining about it? Even though I know I’m truly blessed.

How does anyone ever really know what to say?

There have been so many topics I’ve wanted to tall about but haven’t for fear of being misunderstood.
I am a young mind after all what do I know? Right?
Why cause the drama?
Its probably just a single small voice in the minority group against the mighty voice of the majority group, right?
What difference will it make?

Probably….none.

But think about this… if I don’t speak up, who will? If the minority started to get quieter voice by voice there won’t be anyone to stand up against the majority, no one to try and stand up for what they think is right. And that, my dear friend, will be a sad day.

Why should I be afraid when they aren’t? They won’t even bat an eye to speak their minds, we shouldn’t either. But so many of us do….. why?

Why do we continue to let them tell us how to live? What to except or not except?
America has become a very sad country to live in.
We mourn over the 50 people killed in a shoot out yet hardly ever give a second thought to the millions of babies murdered through abortion every day.
We will imprison someone for buying or selling marihuana but we let rapists and pedophiles go free.
We support people who lie and cheat to be our leaders.
We give perverts free passes into opposite gender bathrooms just so gays know they are welcomed into either one.
We give rich raises while our own military struggle to make ends meet and still have to take a pay cut.
We want to bring in refugees while our own people struggle and are homeless on the streets.
We want to pay the person flipping the burger more than the one who saves your life.
We encourage sex, yet when a teenager gets pregnant we wonder why.
We are told to welcome other people and religions openly but ban the bible and prayer because it offends one person.
We blame objects or victims  for a crime instead of the criminal themself.
We ban natural things and are told to encourage chemicals in our food.
We protect animals and criminals more than we protect our own born  and unborn children.
We forsake God in everything we do, even though he used to be the cornerstone of our lives,  Country.
We throw prayer and bible out of schools but give it in prisons to try and help the men and women there.

Why America?
Why did we let this happen? Because we are stupid idiots that’s why! We ignore God and everything goes south from there.
Its sad.

Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

They follow blindly, like sheep to the slaughter.

I always pray for our country, but I fear we have reached a day where it is too far gone. Now I pray for us as individuals, that it won’t be too late for some of us to wake up and realize what a mess we have become. That we can try to fix what we can, starting with our own hearts.

February

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IT’S FEBRUARY!!!!!! 

I think this year will be going by just as fast as last year did. sigh First it was New Years, I blink and it’s already February! Geez!!

The month of Valentines…. Honestly I think any or almost every day of the year should be like Valentines. We shouldn’t just set aside one day to tell our special someone they mean the world to us or have that the only time we buy them something nice and sweet, we should tell them that everyday how much they mean to us, and surprise them with a gift every so often to show them just how special they really are. Don’t ya think?

Anyways…. Not much happened in January, it was a pretty good month, and I can’t wait to find out what else this year has in store for my Family and I. 😀

My writing isn’t going as well as I had hoped it would though, so far. It’s like my mind is trying to give me writer’s block, but I’m fighting it so hopefully soon I’ll have words flying off the keyboard. 😉 Though I am working on at least 3 stories at the same time, plus I keep getting new ideas for different books that float through my head. I must say that, sometimes it gets a little confusing.

Gideon is still growing like a weed…today he didn’t want to take a nap so I just let him play in his room until he finally fell asleep around 4pm. I just hope he doesn’t sleep too much where he won’t fall asleep tonight. 😛

Due to having insomnia most nights, I’ve been thinking and trying to pick up some yoga. The few times I’ve done it I slept really good that night. But I looked into some of the stuff for it at Walmart, and it can get pricey! So for now I’m just sticking to the Yoga I have on our Wii Fit. 😛

Well got to head out..gotta finish cleaning before Mr. K gets home, and while the baby is still sleeping. 😉

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Another night full of insomnia and voices :P

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So once again, last night I had a terrible time being able to fall asleep. 😦 After a little while I gave in and just played on my phone until the battery almost died which was just before midnight. Mr. K had fallen a sleep hours before…so jealous btw. He could probably sleep through a tornado; it’s not fair. 😛

I thought for sure I’d be able to fall asleep then seeing as my eyes were heavy and I was well past being exhausted. But, NOPE! My brain just wouldn’t shut off, I don’t know how it is for y’all but when my brain won’t shut off it’s almost like it has it’s own mind and comes up with random things to think/talk about.

The main topic last night was that fixer upper house that Mr. K and I were looking at, I kept thinking of ways to fix it up and make it look good. And we don’t even know if we’re getting it yet. *sigh*

Insomnia

A whisper so soft,

It’s more like a thought,

‘Shh, will you be quiet?’

‘No, I just can’t stop’

‘Well try, I’d like some sleep’

Sleep, such a foreign thing

What is it? Is it Nice?

Close my eyes,

‘Oh, I forget to do that today’

I try to count sheep

‘Haha good luck’

1 sheep..

‘Instead of sheep, let’s think about dogs,’

‘No! I’m tired’

2 sheep

‘But dogs are so cute!’

3 sheep

‘Fine how about that house?’

‘oh now there’s a topic’

I shake my head

Why won’t they be quiet?

Clock reads almost midnight

‘We could do so much with the house’

‘I know, with a little paint here’

‘Cement there, brick here’

‘Don’t forget about the kitchen!’

‘Shut Up!’ chimes in the third voice

As I place my hands to my ears,

I roll over, tossing and turning,

I star at the ceiling,

My thumps twit-ling on their own,

 My eyes are heavy,

My Body weak and tired,

And yet sleep still won’t come,

‘Ha! You’re stuck with us!’

I roll my eyes, as I once again toss in bed

Closing my eyes,

I focus on the blackness,

‘SLEEP’

‘Sleep…sleep’

‘Oh No! We’re loosing her!’

‘Let her go, we’ll get her tomorrow night’

I smile and the voices begin to dim

As sleep begins to take its hold.

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