Life isn’t perfect, it’s hard.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10209059557520186&id=1655523562

^^This is So true!^^

Sometimes it gets very difficult and stressful, I doubt and question myself so much, or the boys drive me so insane that I wish they’d be older so I could just have a moment to regroup and not worry about a crying baby 2 seconds later because his brother did something he didn’t like. I swear the list could probably go on for a while; I stress over almost everything when it comes to being a good wife and mom. Asking myself if it’s good enough? Am I doing a good job? 

My house seems to be constantly a mess even after vacuuming it 3 times or picking up scattered toys for what feels like the hundredth time. Dishes stacking up during the day only to get almost all the way done before dinner when more get stacked on. And laundry….well never mind, you get the point. 

But then I take a deep breath and realize my boys are only going to be this age once, and that this stage of “needing mommy every 2 seconds” is not going to last forever! The day will come (sooner than I really want  it to) when they won’t need me hardly anymore, when they won’t want those extra hugs and kisses or for me to tuck them in or rock them to sleep while I sing songs. And My husband won’t need the encouragement for today, tomorrow. Once today is over there’s no doing it over. You can’t say “well I meant to..yesterday.” or put it off by saying  “I can do that tomorrow.” When it comes to family. You never know what the day will hold. 

Yes keeping a clean house is good, but it will always be there, I just have to try my best and except it. I’d rather give my husband and children the extra attention than the house and miss a treasured  moment with them. 

I’m not perfect, I wish I was; I get cranky,  emotional- very emotional- irritated, stressed, & short tempered,  (like today for example), and just want to have a day get over with ASAP, or leave kids with daddy for few just to be free from little hands clawing me almost nonstop. But then there are those days when I would not trade this life for anything in the world and I know that even though times get tough I’m still greatly blessed and I love my family with all my heart no matter what. 

I’ve just got to take it a day at a time and have faith that God has it all under control no matter what may be going on. 🙂 

Fussy Nursing baby and an emotional crying toddler

Daily prompt: Struggle

Struggles of a Night Nursing Baby
9pm
Good night my child,
May we sleep well,
11pm
A snack for you,
So we can sleep more,
12am
How are you hungry?
You need to sleep,
2am
Why scream and cry?
Mommy is here,
230am
You have eaten from both sides,
Please go to sleep,
4am
Are you cold or hot?
Tired or hungry?
430am
Rocking or standing,
You still nurse while crying,
445am
You are finally back asleep,
Please sleep more than two hours.
6am
Why, my child, why?
Last night you nearly slept all night,
7am
Shh, baby sleeping still,
Let’s rest more until he wakes,
8am
Energy they have in abundant,
Coffee I need to keep up,
10am
Daytime smiles and hugs,
Out weighs the sleepless night struggle. 💖

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I am Blessed!

Today was Calian’s 1st birthday! O.O #bittersweet :’) He has grown so much, it’s ridiculous! 😛 He walks now, hardly ever crawls anymore 😥 has 8 (EIGHT) teeth and loves music and dancing! 😀
It feels like I blinked and BAM  he’s no longer my little baby anymore.  When he was born he was 7lbs and 21in long, now he’s somewhere around 20lbs and probably 30in long (I’ll know for sure at his next appointment).
So anyways, for his birthday we went to the Caldwell Zoo. And while Gideon LOVED the turtles, Calian kept trying to walk to the penguins 🙂 and before we left we bought him a small stuffed penguin that he immediately gave a kiss too. ❤
It was technically supposed to rain all day but thankfully we were blessed with a nice day (it was hot, but still nice enough to be out). 🙂
As I went through my day (yesterday and today) I couldn't help but think how blessed and lucky I am to not only have Calian but Gideon too. After having Gideon I had two miscarriages, both of which hit me hard. I know there are women out there who have a way more harder time with pregnancy and getting pregnant then I do, but when you first start trying to having kids you (or at least I didn't) don't think you could be one of the few out of all the women out there. When pregnant with Calian I was always on edge and worrying that something may happen, that I could lose another one. During my first trimester I wouldn't let myself get to hopeful or attached at first because I was scared it'd hurt more if something did happen.  But nothing did, sure it was a harder pregnancy (and delivery)  than what I had with Gideon but I have him still today and I wouldn't change that for anything.  ❤ And it's helped me to really cherish every day I have with my family no matter how it goes, cause each day is a gift that God has given us. 🙂 ❤

Birthday boy walking at the zoo

Right before I headed to the hospital

May the fourth be with you

Well it’s May,  (May the fourth be with you 😉 haha) my youngest turns a year at the end of the month. 😕 Its kinda giving me a bittersweet feeling. He’s growing up so fast, he’s got almost all 8 (4bottom and 4top) teeth in, he’s been walking assisted for a couple months or so now, and this past week he’s been trying to walk unassisted. Gideon was barely walking assisted when he turned a year, but I guess with having a bigger brother Calian strives to do more quicker. Gideon is loving having someone to play with (and to pick on), though I’m still trying to teach him he has to still be gentle until his brother gets older. I love watching them together, Calian loves to follow his brother while Gideon loves to chase him, they both laugh, it’s adorable, though also very loud, haha. Coffee has definitely been my life saver and fuel lately, the coffee machine that I got from my in laws when Mr.K and I got married is still working great and hasn’t let me down. 😀

We’ve had a lot of flooding and  tornadoes here in Texas this Spring and last Fall, our yard has become a moat a few times during the heavy rains. 😛 Even though I’m enjoying the rain and all I can’t wait for some sun! I’m going to be buying some ant killer since our yard is being taken over, so I can actually let the boys out to play without having to worry about them getting covered in ants. We could all really use the sun, I also miss the tan I use to have before apartment life.

Next month we are going on a kayak trip with some friends, I can’t wait! It’ll be up at beavers bend in Oklahoma. Hopefully the weather will be extra nice and warm. Its been two years since our last trip,  we’ve been trying to go once a year but last year two of us moms were 8+months pregnant or just had a baby so we figured we’d skip it. It’ll be an 11mile trip down river so it’ll be almost a whole day trip (last time we got done 2 or hours  early, we’ll see how we do this year). 

I’m still working on my photography  and actually have a few pictures for sale on a couple photo stock websites. (If you wanna check them out I’m on istock and fotolia) I don’t got a lot of pictures up but I’m working on it and still trying to get the hang of it, they are mainly moon, sunset and scenery pictures for now, but I enjoying taking them so guess that’s good. 🙂 I also got my own photography page on Facebook, N.K Photography, if you want to check out more of my pictures there. 🙂

I’m still working on my writing, haven’t done a lot but I do what o can during nap time. 🙂  I’ve got a few stories going, all of which are different from the other. I’ve got one set in a fantasy kind of land, another is what some people call steam-punk mixed with some sci-fi, another is modern day with FBI, and the other is set in a modern small town. I’m hoping to at least get one of these finished soon but we’ll see what happens. 😛 🙂  

 

 

Happy New Year! 2016

15 minutes until 2016 (central standard time) 😀 I’m hoping and praying everyone is staying safe and having a wonderful night!

I was finally able to get the boys asleep an hour ago so it’s my turn to it the hay. 
Its been a wonderful year, Yahweh truly blessed me and our family. I can not wait to see what this coming year has in store for us! 🙂
Since Mr. K is working tonight we will be staying up until midnight together tomorrow night (hopefully, if we can last that long. As it is I can barely keep my eyes open tonight, we’ll see how tomorrow is).
I don’t really have any resolutions this time….mostly cause I hardly do them…but I just pray we follow God’s will and that we cherish each day. ❤

Night y'all!

Gallery of Recent Photos

This gallery contains 16 photos.

Beginning of December

Well NaNo is officially over, but I still have a lot to do with my book. Sadly I didn’t get my 50k words in but I did do a lot better then I thought I would. 🙂 I’m hoping that what I did get done I’m at least half way done with my book, but we’ll see. Since most of the writing I did on paper I need to transfer it to the computer next to see where I’m at and how much more I need to do (I didn’t exactly write it all in order 😛 ), hopefully it’s not much.

I’m still loving my camera! I’ve even got some pretty cool pictures, if I do say so. 🙂 I’ll try and post some when I get the chance.

Calian is getting bigger by the day, he’s at 18.2 lbs and 27in setting him at the 75%-title for his age group. He’s only 6 months and is already mostly needing to wear 9m pants cause anything smaller won’t fit over his thighs (9m barely fit) and are usually too short. 😮

Gideon as usual is mostly just full of energy all day every day!  😰He loves to count and “read” 🙂 The other day he got to read to Calian, it was so adorable and made me smile.  😍

17 Things Boys Need from their Moms

http://www.familydiary.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&catid=32%3Afor-mums-and-dads&id=235%3A-17-things-boys-need-from-their-moms&utm_content=bufferf1218&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

‘You’re gonna miss this’

“You’re gonna miss this, you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t flown by so fast.”

This is something I remind myself often. With having a toddler and a baby and trying to keep up with the house and meal, I sometimes forget what matters most. And that’s these precious moments with my family, the big hugs from little arms, sloppy kisses, genuine smiles and grins that light up their faces, and laughter that fills the whole house. ❤ Soon they won't need mommy to kiss it to make it feel better, or want to be tickled or run around the house laughing at the little things.
Having another baby has shown me just how much my little boy has grown and just how much my little baby will grow.
They definitely don't stay little forever, no matter how much we want or try.
So even though I feel like I'm going insane some days, or how much I'm tired or run down at times, I wouldn't want my life any other
way. God has blessed me so much, and I'm so thankful, especially for the little things.